Messed up

I think I'm a let down. Scratch that I am. I just can't get it right. I know I can't make everybody happy, but at least one person would be nice. Geez I can't even make myself smile. I look around and I see everybody else sparkle. The are so freaking happy. They are all smiles, and hugs, high fives, they have people to see, people to meet, and more. They even burst with laughter and I just look in awe and think what happened to me.. Wasn't I one of those people not even a year ago? What changed and why can't I be happy go lucky? Seeing others looking god and having fun I look at myself and just want to run. So I do. I've found other people and reasons to laugh... They can't see it and they worry. I don't want or need them to worry. I just want stop and run away. Is it terrible that I really want to just escape? I don't want them to come after me, I don't want my phone, I just want to drive, and only stop for has, bathroom, food and sleeping. I need to see what else I can be. Or maybe it's me that I'm looking for...?